Tag Archives: single

WORST THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE THAT IS SINGLE /BEST RESPONSES TO SHUT SOMEONE UP WHEN YOU’RE SINGLE

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old maidWhy are you still single?
I used to lock my boyfriends in a basement; one of them escaped and told others, no one wants to date me now.

Wow! You’re biological clock must be ticking now.
No, what is ticking is a bomb that’s on my purse, I’d run if I were you

Your great aunt Whatever is old and alone, never got married and she had the saddest life, be careful!
Good point! I’ll just go smoke and drink alone to make sure I don’t get to that age

Who keeps you company on a lonely afternoon?
My imaginary friend Mary, she comes over and we have tea, she’s sitting right next to you right now!

I don’t see why you’re single when you’re so pretty.
Maybe not shaving my armpits and not wearing deodorant has something to do with it.

When are you planning on getting married?
If you get me a husband for my birthday, I’ll get married that day. Please order with time to spare in order to plan a big wedding.

And then the last one, from Sex and the City:

Charlotte: You have to take risks so you don’t wind up an old maid.
Carrie: Oh! That’s right. Must not wind up old maid. How will l remember that? Does anybody have a pen?

Rolling in puppies: How I’ve changed and why puppies are so much better than kids

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One day, in your twenties you realize how much you’ve changed, your priorities are not the same, and you need to make some changes. 27 years and one very hard and complicated immigration process later, I can say that:

–          I no longer care what people who are not my friends think about me, I don’t even want to be Facebook friends with people that I think are mean, stupid, silly or simply don’t bring anything positive to my life. Yes, this goes to you mean girl that laughed at me in High School, silly girl that writes status such as “At home”, “Having dinner with my boyfriend @whatshisname I love you baby” and the legendary “I’m hungry”.

–          10 good friends are more than enough: I don’t need more friends. If I meet new people, I can hang out, but they’re on probation. Every time I trusted people fast, I ended up in disaster (see posts from a year ago, specifically, the famous 180.

–          The people that you are ellegedly “diplomatic with”, those ones that you put so much effort for, just to maintain an OK relationship, the ones that take up too much time, that don’t bring anything good to your life THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT. In everything that you do in life you have to get something to give something, that guy who you would never ask for advice because he’s insane, but who you still talk to for “old times’ back in 2001 sake” NOT WORTH IT! What did I get for all the hours I lost listening to a loser talk about his one night stands and DUI legal issues? Lost hours and insults when he flipped out about something stupid because he has anger management issues, that’s what I got. DUH!

–          Having children is not a life goal and it’s greatly overrated: After you’ve been through real problems in life, you have a hard time imagining living life with this problems plus raising up children! Children who need to be oriented in life, children who will keep you up at night, who will make you spend so much money in diapers; and later will keep you up at night when they’re partying and you’re praying that they’re not doing drugs or something worse, begging that they only have one drink in high school parties (because no-drinks is too much to ask), and praying that they won’t say that they won’t go to college to go be a professional groupie. Honestly, having a dog is so much more rewarding, dogs love you no matter what, education is easier and cheaper for them, they’re completely consequent and you don’t have to worry about their future, or have “talks” with them.

Don’t get me wrong, if you still think that having children is something you want to do, please go ahead; but consider everything before you decide. STOP HAVING CHILDREN BECAUSE BABIES ARE CUTE. DOGS ARE CUTE…FOREVER.

I’m still not sure if I want to have children, for now, a lifetime of rolling in puppies sounds good (see Peter Griffin’s dream below)