Category Archives: useless men

The naked man from How I met your mother, happened in real life

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If you have now idea what this is, on an episode of How I met your mother, a guy talks about this move, “the naked man” that consists of just waiting for a girl, naked, 2 out of 3 times she’ll sleep with you (source: HIMY trusted statistics). This is Barney commenting about THE move: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB_6tVjvJw8. Well, the guys try this move on that episode.

I know that some guys want to feel like they live in a movie or a TV show, maybe you can get some ideas that you can apply on real life, well, one guy thought that it was a good idea to prove the vailidity of “The Naked Man”.

This happened to a friend, a very nice and innocent friend who trusts everyone. A friend of her friend, a guy that she has many years of knowing, but never was close friends with, lets call him Dummy, said that he was too far from home, and needed a place to stay. Her, as then nice innocent person she is(and since she introduced him to his current girlfriend), offered him a place to stay; he proceded to pull the “naked man” move and tell her to “come here”. I believe that the events that followed were interpreted in radically different ways by both of them, it went something like this:

EVENT: She offered him a place to stay

HE THOUGHT: Finally! I’m sleeping with her, I knew that she wanted me

SHE THOUGHT: I’ll just offer him a place to stay, does my hair look frizzy todat? hmmm

EVENT: She went to the bathroom

HE THOUGHT: This is the moment I was waiting for! I’ll take my clothes off and I’ll wait for her on a very sexy pose that shows my abs, I am the greatest when it comes to seduction tecniques!

SHE THOUGHT: I’ll put on my granny pj’s, the ones with the dinosaours, oh! I’ll brush my teeth and put on the face mask that I bought and I haven’t tried yet

EVENT: She comes out of the bathroom in granny pj’s

HE THOUGHT: She’s just playing hard to get! I’ll have to say something clever (and he said: “come here baby”), cleverest phrase ever!

SHE THOUGHT:WTF, I want to puke. I want to kill him, and puke, what do I do first?

After all these events, after she convinced him to put his clothes back on, he proceded to ask is she was angry, when she said “no”, he thought it was a good idea to ask her again if she would sleep with him. This guy has game!

The naked man didn’t work this time, I guess this is 1 out of 3 times…

I wonder where this guy gets other ideas to apply to his life, maybe he takes grooming and fashion advice from Jersey Shore, and in the future, marriage tips from the Kardashians and parenting advice from Toddlers and Tiaras…

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A man that can make scrambled eggs is admirable; say the conservative-weird-feminists

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This morning I was appalled at the use of frozen scrambled eggs in Canada, they taste like plastic that stinks and I thought: “how hard is it to crack an egg, scramble it and add salt and pepper”, apparently for some cultures, the answer to this question depends on your sex.

I almost puked my plastic scrambled eggs when I heard an older lady at work congratulating a 30ish married man because he could cook eggs, they both seem really happy discussing how his wife did “everything” in the house and he could not complain, of course you can’t complain if you’re the one who’s useless; the question is, why doesn’t she complain?

Coming from a home in which my parents always divided tasks fairly between them when needed, and thaught my brother how to survive (he cooks scrambled eggs and sometimes complicated things like omelette, just kidding! He’s an amazing cook), it’s hard not to be offended by this point of view.

I understand that women cooked, cleaned and raised the children WHEN THEY DIDN’T WORK, if a woman doesn’t work or does anything with her life, it is perfectly normal (and expected I’d say) that she takes care of the house, you’ve got to do something, right? I don’t agree with women who fill their days with pottery classes, fake nails and hair appointments either.

But if you are holding a full time job, even a position of power, are you expected to go home to cook, clean and serve dinner? Well, in my case, if you are a guy that likes me, you can start running if you expect that, because when you at least hint that, I’ll run, fast, and I’ll laugh, hard.

At least many years ago we had one role to fill, now we have two??? Smart thing, this feminism that sent some women to the office and then to do all the work that our predecessors did in 8 hours, in 3 hours!

I’m sorry, I’ll cook and clean for one because there’s no one else that’ll do it for me (in Latin America, everyone has maids so this does not apply so much), when I live with someone we’ll have to negotiate according to the tasks we hate the most: “hate doing laundry? I’ll do it and you’ll wash dishes”, I refuse to leave work at night to go and wash, clean, cook and serve him a cold one while I try to look pretty, so people won’t say that I look “tired”. If you ever wondered why a wife and mother looks so tired, now you know, maybe she has a useless husband.