Category Archives: stalkers

People that are stupid and proud and cognitive dissonance

Standard

Image

This morning, while driving in a very bright morning, I started thinking of very productive things such as the people that have pissed me off lately, more specifically, I was wondering why some people say stupid things and I’m all “whatever, continue your stupid existence” about it, while some people really piss me off with their crap. I had an epiphany that connected a very complex psychology concept with the fact that sometimes I just get angry easily.

Cognitive dissonant people: People that make no sense and are all “in your face” about it.

 

[Cultural break]

“The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.” – About.com

[Break is over]

 

They’re stupid and proud about it, or say things that are completely illogical and flaunt it, or are in the wrong and they yell at you! They could just walk around, making use of their lonely two brain cells and live a happy life, and let me live it, but no! They decided to be all up in my face with their amazingly dumb points of view; they are living and walking cognitive dissonance. If there is an echo in your brain from lack of use, why should it affect my life too?

I’m moving to present Exhibit A and B:

 

A: The subject is an Asian male who was driving in front of me yesterday; we had stopped on the lane to turn left on a light. Without making an effort to announce his plans in any way, he proceeded to back his car onto mine for a good 10 seconds, because after being in that lane Mr. I’m the center of the Universe decided that he didn’t want to turn anymore, so he was changing lanes in a very easy breezy way.

Because he is the Center of the Universe, he didn’t care if he ended up with each half of his car on a different lane, therefore blocking my way when the light changed and I was ready to turn. When I honked the horn for him to move, what Mr. Lovely decided to do was to insult me and show me the finger. Really???!!??, so you back your car to change lanes in the middle of traffic, block me so I can’t turn around and YOU’RE angry? Maybe you should call the provincial government so they make sure that when you want to go out and drive; they make it a rule that no one else drives so you can use the streets as your personal race track in reverse.

B: The subject is a female woman from Latin America, from a very small town and a very small brain, who uses Facebook to troll, but unlike most trolls that work undercover on Reddit, she likes to show her face and troll on people’s walls.

My friend and I were commenting on a status about our national football team, when she started trolling like a troll and defending the opposite team, like getting really flustered and rude. Lady, you are supporting a foreign team instead of yours, and instead of doing it quietly you decide to flaunt it, on Facebook, on someone else’s wall, when this person is saying the opposite thing, and you insult their friends.

Advertisements

Romantic or Psycho: a tutorial for dummies

Standard

stalker

You’d think that this is common sense, but apparently for some men, it is hard to figure out: When do you stop being cute and romantic and start being a stalker?
Once I heard that if a guy that you like acts insistent, it’s romantic; but when you don’t like the guy it’s stalkerish, and I agree to an extent. But what happens when a guy you like makes you fly away faster than an angry bird?

Here is a tutorial that will show guys the difference, the line is not so thin guys!:

– Begging to get someone back after screwing up: romantic
– Begging to get someone back 3 times a day, while using different “ routines” and one day acting all sad and the next one putting yourself down to reverse psychology the crap out of the poor lady: psycho

– Texting someone you’re dating “good night ”: romantic
– Texting someone you’re dating “good night ” after she broke up with you a month ago and you haven’t talked, and she has an App on her phone to block you: psycho

– Adding your girlfriend to Linked In and following her on Twitter: romantic
– Stalking your ex on Linked In after she has blocked your from any other social media tool, trying to conclude if she is dating someone from her posts and texting her to say that you’re glad she didn’t delete you: Psycho

– Showing up at your girlfriend’s place with flowers: romantic
– Showing up at your ex-girlfriend’s place with flowers after she has a restraining order against you and takes the back stairs after her classes in order to avoid you: psycho

These are only a few examples, but the general rule is that if someone is yelling at you or running the other direction when they see you, it may be safe to conclude that you are not, I repeat, you are not in a happy relationship with them anymore. Please don’t make us yell “stranger danger” or call the police when we see you.
It might be hard to figure out for some people but changing your attitude three times a day is a “no no”, so if you’re yelling at noon and crying at night, you should start seeing someone often, and that someone is a therapist.

The naked man from How I met your mother, happened in real life

Standard

If you have now idea what this is, on an episode of How I met your mother, a guy talks about this move, “the naked man” that consists of just waiting for a girl, naked, 2 out of 3 times she’ll sleep with you (source: HIMY trusted statistics). This is Barney commenting about THE move: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB_6tVjvJw8. Well, the guys try this move on that episode.

I know that some guys want to feel like they live in a movie or a TV show, maybe you can get some ideas that you can apply on real life, well, one guy thought that it was a good idea to prove the vailidity of “The Naked Man”.

This happened to a friend, a very nice and innocent friend who trusts everyone. A friend of her friend, a guy that she has many years of knowing, but never was close friends with, lets call him Dummy, said that he was too far from home, and needed a place to stay. Her, as then nice innocent person she is(and since she introduced him to his current girlfriend), offered him a place to stay; he proceded to pull the “naked man” move and tell her to “come here”. I believe that the events that followed were interpreted in radically different ways by both of them, it went something like this:

EVENT: She offered him a place to stay

HE THOUGHT: Finally! I’m sleeping with her, I knew that she wanted me

SHE THOUGHT: I’ll just offer him a place to stay, does my hair look frizzy todat? hmmm

EVENT: She went to the bathroom

HE THOUGHT: This is the moment I was waiting for! I’ll take my clothes off and I’ll wait for her on a very sexy pose that shows my abs, I am the greatest when it comes to seduction tecniques!

SHE THOUGHT: I’ll put on my granny pj’s, the ones with the dinosaours, oh! I’ll brush my teeth and put on the face mask that I bought and I haven’t tried yet

EVENT: She comes out of the bathroom in granny pj’s

HE THOUGHT: She’s just playing hard to get! I’ll have to say something clever (and he said: “come here baby”), cleverest phrase ever!

SHE THOUGHT:WTF, I want to puke. I want to kill him, and puke, what do I do first?

After all these events, after she convinced him to put his clothes back on, he proceded to ask is she was angry, when she said “no”, he thought it was a good idea to ask her again if she would sleep with him. This guy has game!

The naked man didn’t work this time, I guess this is 1 out of 3 times…

I wonder where this guy gets other ideas to apply to his life, maybe he takes grooming and fashion advice from Jersey Shore, and in the future, marriage tips from the Kardashians and parenting advice from Toddlers and Tiaras…

How drunk do you have to be to ask a stranger out on Linked In?, and other repressed frustrations

Standard

If you are afraid of asking someone out, if you think that they might reject you, YOU MAY BE RIGHT! If someone has never given you the time of day or looked at you, and if the girl is even mean to you, most likely she will reject you, and you should avoid that if you’re smart.Image

If you are a normal guy, you’ll try to interact in a light way in person, electronically, etc etc, to see what her reaction towards you is; if she ignores you or looks at you like you’re something that the cat dragged in, why would you go ahead and ask her out?

Yesterday a guy that I don’t know asked me out on Linked In, I added him because he worked on the same place where I work, but his picture was taken from really far away, he could have been anyone, well, anyone that’s ugly, even from far away, he looked ugly.

This event made me mad, if he is so afraid of asking me out in person, why would he ask me out in the first place? I choose to ignore him, because what would I say? Even if he was attractive physically, I don’t know who he is! And this attempt to ask me out seems like he knows that his chances are slim and didn’t want to risk a rejection, so the most effort he’d do was a message on a business networking site. I guess this is like buying a raffle ticket with other 200 people, you never expect that you’ll win. Not that I am such an amazing prize, but this guy seems very pathetic, and having balls is a must on my list.

Anonymous guy, thanks, your actions are exactly designed to cause a very uncomfortable situation in the hallway, if I knew who he was lol, I guess it will be uncomfortable for him. I just wish with all my heart that this is the end of it.

Congrats man, you for sure know how to make a first good impression, now I know that you were stalking my desk to write down the exact spelling of my last name, then you stalked me on Linked in, but you are such a good decision maker than you thought that all of that was better than just trying to start a conversation with me.

Rolling in puppies: How I’ve changed and why puppies are so much better than kids

Standard

One day, in your twenties you realize how much you’ve changed, your priorities are not the same, and you need to make some changes. 27 years and one very hard and complicated immigration process later, I can say that:

–          I no longer care what people who are not my friends think about me, I don’t even want to be Facebook friends with people that I think are mean, stupid, silly or simply don’t bring anything positive to my life. Yes, this goes to you mean girl that laughed at me in High School, silly girl that writes status such as “At home”, “Having dinner with my boyfriend @whatshisname I love you baby” and the legendary “I’m hungry”.

–          10 good friends are more than enough: I don’t need more friends. If I meet new people, I can hang out, but they’re on probation. Every time I trusted people fast, I ended up in disaster (see posts from a year ago, specifically, the famous 180.

–          The people that you are ellegedly “diplomatic with”, those ones that you put so much effort for, just to maintain an OK relationship, the ones that take up too much time, that don’t bring anything good to your life THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT. In everything that you do in life you have to get something to give something, that guy who you would never ask for advice because he’s insane, but who you still talk to for “old times’ back in 2001 sake” NOT WORTH IT! What did I get for all the hours I lost listening to a loser talk about his one night stands and DUI legal issues? Lost hours and insults when he flipped out about something stupid because he has anger management issues, that’s what I got. DUH!

–          Having children is not a life goal and it’s greatly overrated: After you’ve been through real problems in life, you have a hard time imagining living life with this problems plus raising up children! Children who need to be oriented in life, children who will keep you up at night, who will make you spend so much money in diapers; and later will keep you up at night when they’re partying and you’re praying that they’re not doing drugs or something worse, begging that they only have one drink in high school parties (because no-drinks is too much to ask), and praying that they won’t say that they won’t go to college to go be a professional groupie. Honestly, having a dog is so much more rewarding, dogs love you no matter what, education is easier and cheaper for them, they’re completely consequent and you don’t have to worry about their future, or have “talks” with them.

Don’t get me wrong, if you still think that having children is something you want to do, please go ahead; but consider everything before you decide. STOP HAVING CHILDREN BECAUSE BABIES ARE CUTE. DOGS ARE CUTE…FOREVER.

I’m still not sure if I want to have children, for now, a lifetime of rolling in puppies sounds good (see Peter Griffin’s dream below)

“I’ll never forget you” and other pshycho-obsessive-compulsive phrases and actions

Standard

A couple of years ago, I’d thought that the concept of someone stuck with a feeling for many years after a relationship ended (or even when it never happened at all) was only true in romantic comedies, latin American soap operas and the occasional obsessive compulsive individual. Lately, I’ve heard (and lived) cases starring those obsessive individuals and some apparently normal individuals.

First, there is the strange case of my gay family member who has always been attracted to lost causes, one of them a girl in high school with severe self esteem issues, and an unreal and unhealthy concept of true love. Little did my family member know that a couple of years later she would be obsessed with him, sending him e-mails declaring her love and her devotion, big enough to follow him to another country, and lists of all the reasons why she was sure that he liked him too. Last week, she was at his house inquiring about his whereabouts and “why hasn’t she heard from him” and “how the cleaning lady didn’t know where he was. Now the whole family is scared of her.

Then there are cases of ex-boyfriends from years ago, who all of a sudden, a couple of years later seem to think that you are either their best friend that will listen to all their problems, sorrows, hopes, dreams and defeats in life, when you’d prefer eating out of the recycle bin than listen to their s#@$t (I didn’t break up with you to be your psychologist 5 years later). An finally, there is the friend who always loved you, without you knowing (or you knew and liked the attention, you know who you are!), as women, you could assume that a guy is fine with the occasional kiss or make out session here and there PLUS a friendship, sometimes there aren’t, sometimes they think that because you kissed them you’re their soul mate, that if they stick to your side for another 5 years you’ll know that he’s everything you wanted in a person and more.

The third kind is the most awkward of all, really awkward. When the guy is not important to you, you are thinking about ways to get out of there (the place and the situation) fast and without any harm to your pride, integrity and mood (aren’t you ambitious?) . And when you care, you just want to rewind to a moment without awkwardness, a moment when you didn’t know that he pictured you and him in 30 years and together, when you didn’t know that he may have used one of those programs to put both of your pictures together and see how your babies would look like. Sadly, you can’t turn back, and the next time you meet is even more awkward, and then you decide that talking less and less is the way to go. Other times the make it easier for you, because instead of declaring their love, they decide to pick a fight and stop talking, and say that they don’t want a talk to you because of the fight, like you’ll forget all the drunk texts and calls, the weird flirty comments, and the looks at your boobs.

So you’re not gay but still want my number? Adventures at a gay bar

Standard

There is a number of things that straight women allow a gay men to do, that they would never ever in their life allow a random straight man to even think about doing, including: talking freely about our boobs or butt, or maybe even grabbing, dirty dancing, sleeping on the same bed, etc, etc.

Also, when we meet a gay guy we are always friendly, our walls are down and we can be ourselves, without being afraid of the phenomenon known as “is he that desperate that he would take anything I do as a signal that I’m interested too”, this is when you say hello back to someone and they think that then you’d be fine with them rubbing your shoulders, errrmmmm… nope; or when you share a few jokes with a co-worker and then he asks you out for drinks and gets upset when you tell him that you want to invite another person too (yes, both things have happened to me, see previous blogs)

So we met several gay men last weekend, most of them because of our friend who was a super nice, sociable and friendly drunk, she opened the doors for an extension on our gay men collection of friends. One of those guys owns a vintage clothing store, win!

Sometimes, when you’re that sociable, you can attract undesirables, one of them being “the man with flip flops and earphones, who evolved into the man without shoes and earphones” I commented on how weird he was and my friend (we’ll call him a super nice gay Asian man)  said that he knew him, I thought “how weird that he’s friends with him, but OK”, half an hour later we see this guy talking to another group of people and super nice gay Asian man commented on the level of weirdness of the guy, so I asked him: “wasn’t he your friend”, to which he replied the phrase that made me laugh out loud: “he has no shoes, you can’t be my friend without shoes, you have no shoes, you’re not a friend”

In the middle of all that, a guy approached our lesbian friend to compliment her hair cut (we’ll call her pretty athletic
Asian girl), and he started talking to us. We assumed that he was gay so we were very friendly, he asked for our contact info, and my friend (who we’ll call multicultural mix girl) told him that we were going but he could go back in and dance with the rest of our crowd if he liked, he looked disappointed, but we didn’t make much for it. Then we left.

Apparently the story didn’t end there, he went inside the club (even though his friends were somewhere else and apparently he had to pay to go in…at 2 am) and he proceeded to dance with pretty athletic Asian girl while trying to convince her that she should give him a chance…he wasn’t a woman, he was an ugly man, when she made it clear that for specific reasons she wasn’t interested, he gave him his contact info to give to multicultural mix girl, and “make sure that she called him”, what was she supposed to do, tie the girl up, dial the number and make her talk???

Of course she didn’t call, and she won’t call. And for future occasions, Is it inappropriate to ask about sexual preferences before you’re nice to someone? Just to make sure straight men (ugly straight men) don’t pose as gay and take advantage of girls.

>The (aparently) thin line between being pushy and a stalker

Standard

>So, for you guys it may be difficult to understand girls, but I think that there are some of you for whom the concept of being a STALKER might be blurry.
Like the experience I had yesterday, so I’m studying a degree and I have to work in groups, my group is composed of two guys. I along with them, they’re nice- that’s it- considering that we only talk about things like business strategy, key performance indicators, etc.
Considering that I only see them for an hour once a week I would say I barely know their names.
But…to one of them aparently I’m the love of his life, OH MY GOD!
From out of nowhere he tells me that he is thinking about leaving his girlfriend for me…
So the story begins a few weeks ago, when I noticed him strangely “nice to me”, I tried to back away as soon as possible, sensing that something weird might be going through his mind…
But one day, in the msn messenger, he confessed that he is thinking that i’m beautiful, interesting and independenent, and that he could leave his girlfriend for me if I WANTED TO :O
In my state of shock I tried to blow him away by telling him that he might be confused, because he doesn’t know me well enough to be in love!!! And to every statement I logically made, he ilogically responded hahaha, he said that he doesn’t need to know me more, because in every word he can see the beauty in me (cheesy much???).
After that he said that knowing me was one of the best things that happened in his life (hello? I don’t remember your last name). And that he knew his feelings were true because he meets girls every day and no one made him doubt about his relationship (awww sweet, I’m good enough to make yout think about cheating)
And he said that he would never had the courage to tell me that he liked me (or loved me??) in person (but you have the courage to make a fool out of yourself after I say I think you’re uninteresting and I don’t like you a 10000 times)
I told him NO like 5 times and he always had a stupid answer.
So I ask: Is there a weird group of guys that think that if you tell a woman that you like her and she says no, maybe after 10 times of saying the same she’ll say yes?
Is there a support group of all these anoying guys?
Do they Google their “romantic” lines?
Do they think we believe them?
I had to stop that conversation abruptly, because after half an hour of the same he didn’t give up, I even told him that I tought that guys only told you that they liked you out of the blue in highschool, ALL THE INSULTS AND SARCASMS MADE HIM LIKE ME MORE, he said that I was special because I was independent and strong (I’m strong and trying to insult you here!) So I signed out before I had him infront of my house with signs saying: I LOVE YOU, PLEASE SAY YES 😛