Category Archives: r&b

Music review: Exciting unknown artists that become mainstream and awesome comebacks

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As I expressed on a past post, I am appalled by the abundance of songs that could have been written by a well trained dolphin, or a 5 year old while also constructing a house made of Play-Doh.

At least I heard a decent Rihanna song, that if I remember well, is not filled by sounds like: “a, oh, na, ella, etc. I was disappointed to hear Nicki Minaj in an electronic music song, because rapping is what she can do and she should stick to that, 15% of singing per song top please!

Things that excite me right now:

-The super amazing and original band The Ting Tings is on Mtv! And they’ll have a concert that I’ll obviously go to and report back. If you haven’t checked them out, it’s very upbeat indie pop with funny or inspiring lyrics, I recommend the songs: “ We Walk”, “Great DJ” and “Shut up and let me go”.

– SIA, who is an amazing European singer that I had the privilege of seeing live, she rocked! Well, Sia has managed to make her way into the Top 40 without losing her essence, check out her song with Florida “Wild One”. And then listen to “Buttons”, “You’ve changed” and “Breathe me”.

Things that excite me from the near future: Amazing come backs that I can’t wait for!

–          Garbage: I’m really excited about them, her voice is AMAZING. I haven’t heard a bad Garbage songs and they have a little bit of everything: the classics like “Stupid Girl” and “Special”, the songs where they went super-edgy like “Androgyny”  and the songs on which she proved that with her voice she could sing opera like “The World is not enough”.

–          No Doubt: Gwen rocks! I love her with a passion. I love her in No Doubt and I love her from when she did her own thing. This  girl/band who can be rock/ska or hip hop and do both amazingly: “I’m just a girl”, “Don’t Speak”, “Spider webs”, “Hey Baby” and the song I never get bored of listening to “Hollaback Girl”, we’ll never know what that means, but the song is pretty amazing.

I hope that they don’t pull a Red Hot Chili Peppers and come back with some weird songs, that I still appreciate, but wonder what type of drugs where they in when they wrote them, but then again, isn’t that the case with ALL RHCP songs? maybe

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Music review by Sarcastic Girl: Songs that could have been written by a chimpanzee

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I don’t like music that I could write lyrics and music for in half of the time that takes me to brush my teeth. It offends me as a writer, and it offends me as a listener.

Don’t get me wrong, I like artists that have pretty dumb lyrics, like Nicki Minaj; but they have to give me something! Give me either an amazing voice, amazing style, a rhythm that makes me want to dance all night and above all, lots of creativity. It is not only the lyrics, the music on this pop songs is interchangeable, you can use the exact same one for all the upbeat ones, and another one for the slow ones. Lately, most of the Top 40 songs make my brain cells want to commit suicide by trying to jump from my nostrils

Some examples:

–          “You are the one that I think about all day, my love is your love, your love is mine”: I hope that no one attempts to use this phrase as an attempt to be romantic with me, if they try, I don’t care if he’s the father of my children, I’ll run and I’ll never look back. Rihanna, you already had 2 songs on the radio; you didn’t need another one that will have Barney (the purple one, not the one that wears suits) filing a law suit. to Barbie soundtrack, now her lyrics are not only stupid but written by an obsessive compulsive/stalker point of view; her next hit:“I watch you while you sleep and collect dolls that look like you”

–          “Girl look at that body, I work out”: You can argue that this is a good dance song. They use that card 2 years and 10 songs ago. When you use the exact same beat and music as “Sho sho sho sho sho shots” in 2 albums and use drunken slur for songs, you have a pretty easy job. Just save your money, maybe in a year or two, people will notice that it’s the same song over and over, and over.

–          “Dirty dancing in the moonlight, take me down like I’m a domino”: You say that you don’t want to be like all the pop stars, and  that you don’t want to be like Katy Perry. Well, I consider myself a music expert and SWORE you were Katy Perry when I heard this song, not the good Katy Perry from “Ur so gay”, the one that thinks that shooting stars start in her boobs before they go to the sky. When I heard “Like a Dude” I wanted to see you live, when I heard Domino, I pictured you with a bikini made of cotton candy.

Music critique by sarcastic girl: commercialization = bad

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Being commercial is a good thing, if you’re a shampoo or a box of butter, not if you are an artist. I am all for being more commercial to sell more albums, but please don’t pull a Famous 180 on me (see post Famous 180) if I’m supporting you as a starving artists.

I have two bad examples of artists becoming more commercial than a product placement of a can of Ginger Ale in The Real World:

Pink before

Pink After

– Pink:

What did you do Pink? I loved you so much in 1999 when you had your hair Pink (duh!) and were a really fun, independent and rebel R&B artist with a great voice:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGfz0fv5wfQ

I loved your songs, I loved your beat, I loved your style. You were one of the artists that made me fall for Hip Hop and R & B.

Why did you become the poster child of a bubble gum Pop Star?, you said you wouldn’t and that ” LA told you, you’ll be a pop star, all you have to change is everything you are” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asaCQOZpqUQ

KATY PERRY:

Eventhough I hate her a little bit less now that she has a good song that didn’t seem to belong in a R rated version of  The Muppets (E.T, which I love). She really dissapointed me with songs like California Girls (I refuse to misspell that word) and Teenage Dream, which lacked good music, originality or brain cells involved in the creative process.

Why Katy? I loved you and supported you so much when you had songs as “You’re so Gay”, “I kissed a girl” and “Hot and Cold”, I even defended you from accusations that said that you used gay references to get attention (See her 2 first songs).  You were so indie, original and cool. So” American Lilly Allen” (sigh)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWbLkXhGEmo

Now I just like you because of E.T. which made the memory of you being a good artist die a little bit slower, and because I have a crush on your husband, that is all. Because you are more Barbie Malibu than the music from the cartoon I watched when I was 10: Jem & the Hollograms, it doesn’t help that you look like them. At least you still have your good voice and it doesn’t hurt to use cotton candy as an outfit.

I just hope that now that my beloved Marina and the Diamonds is opening your tour you don’t turn her into Barbie’s black hair friend (I don’t remember her name)

Katy Perry (ehem Jem)