Category Archives: privacy

Things that you please shouldn’t do on Facebook

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It seems like Facebook rules our lives these days, and that people forgot their morals and basic social rules to give in to Facebook rules; some real, some imaginary.

It is evident that Facebook brings the exhibitionist side in some people, while others just ask themselves: “why does everyone have to know my business? I am annoyed that Facebook is more important than real life now”.

  • Tell us where you are all day long: Our life goes on no matter if you are @the movies, @Starbucks, @living room or @McDonalds. Ask yourself: “why is this relevant to others?” If the answer is: “it is not”, please don’t post (Unless you are at a super cool place, like a concert, the zoo or the moon).
  • Say that you are hungry, thirsty or tired: I read this and I just think that you must have an uninteresting life if the relevant thing that happened to you today is that you’re hungry; at least if you’re tired I know that you did something. Live a little! Make some plans so you can post them on your status and stop boring people.
  • Have 400 friends: 300 of them are people that you don’t talk to, 50 that you don’t know and might be fake profiles that send viruses to everyone you know. No one knows 400 people, period. Also, when people visit your profile they can see the picture of some of your friends, if one of the pictures that you have is of Katrina, a 16 year old girl from Russia in her underwear (true story) now we know that you not only add people that you don’t know, but you may have an addiction to porn.
  • Post 1000 uninteresting pictures taken with your phone: Pictures of your feet, your food (when this is oatmeal, fried eggs or toast), pictures of your car, etc. Again, this ranks 10000 on the list of things that matter to me. You get double the douchebag points if you have your new car as your profile picture. Disclaimer: pictures of cute babies and pets are allowed.
  • Write love letters: We know that you have a boyfriend, congrats! You managed to find someone that can spend more than 3 hours a week with you! We don’t need (or want) to know that your Baby or Honey (or if you’re just a little bit more original Poochie, Coochie, Teddy Bear, Bunny, etc.) is the greatest person ever and you can’t wait to kiss him because he completes you and is the love of your life. Nor we want to know that this vacation is all you needed to reconnect, and you’re not fighting anymore (true story, this was my ex’s gf). If this is something that you wouldn’t even share on a phone call with your best friend, it is something that the rest of us most likely don’t want to see.

NEWSFLASH: Deleting someone from Facebook is not the worse offense in the world. You should know that if I have never seen you, you won’t be on my list; if I haven’t had contact with you in real life for 6 months, you won’t be on my list; if you have offended me or talked behind my back and I am not interested in talking to you in real life anymore, guess what???

 

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Rolling in puppies: How I’ve changed and why puppies are so much better than kids

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One day, in your twenties you realize how much you’ve changed, your priorities are not the same, and you need to make some changes. 27 years and one very hard and complicated immigration process later, I can say that:

–          I no longer care what people who are not my friends think about me, I don’t even want to be Facebook friends with people that I think are mean, stupid, silly or simply don’t bring anything positive to my life. Yes, this goes to you mean girl that laughed at me in High School, silly girl that writes status such as “At home”, “Having dinner with my boyfriend @whatshisname I love you baby” and the legendary “I’m hungry”.

–          10 good friends are more than enough: I don’t need more friends. If I meet new people, I can hang out, but they’re on probation. Every time I trusted people fast, I ended up in disaster (see posts from a year ago, specifically, the famous 180.

–          The people that you are ellegedly “diplomatic with”, those ones that you put so much effort for, just to maintain an OK relationship, the ones that take up too much time, that don’t bring anything good to your life THEY’RE NOT WORTH IT. In everything that you do in life you have to get something to give something, that guy who you would never ask for advice because he’s insane, but who you still talk to for “old times’ back in 2001 sake” NOT WORTH IT! What did I get for all the hours I lost listening to a loser talk about his one night stands and DUI legal issues? Lost hours and insults when he flipped out about something stupid because he has anger management issues, that’s what I got. DUH!

–          Having children is not a life goal and it’s greatly overrated: After you’ve been through real problems in life, you have a hard time imagining living life with this problems plus raising up children! Children who need to be oriented in life, children who will keep you up at night, who will make you spend so much money in diapers; and later will keep you up at night when they’re partying and you’re praying that they’re not doing drugs or something worse, begging that they only have one drink in high school parties (because no-drinks is too much to ask), and praying that they won’t say that they won’t go to college to go be a professional groupie. Honestly, having a dog is so much more rewarding, dogs love you no matter what, education is easier and cheaper for them, they’re completely consequent and you don’t have to worry about their future, or have “talks” with them.

Don’t get me wrong, if you still think that having children is something you want to do, please go ahead; but consider everything before you decide. STOP HAVING CHILDREN BECAUSE BABIES ARE CUTE. DOGS ARE CUTE…FOREVER.

I’m still not sure if I want to have children, for now, a lifetime of rolling in puppies sounds good (see Peter Griffin’s dream below)

Basic rules to aviod TMI and other TMs at work

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If you are going to spend most of your day with people who are not your family or friends, it is only normal to want to make that time as pleasant as possible and share some ideas and events, and maybe offer some basic advice.

I haven’t had a good friend at work for the longest time, I had people that I went for lunch with, people that I hanged out with, but no one that I’d talk about my personal life, problems or insecurities. This is because I need to be very sure that the info that I share with someone at work will stay with that person, and that is really hard to find.

On the other hand, there is people that share a little bit too much. To help this type of person, I offer some basic rules that can prevent you from becoming the girl that everyone runs away from when she opens her mouth:

– If someone asks about your significant other, and they are not close friends with you, you should only offer a short answer that has two parts, the first one: “he/she is OK” and maybe, you can add a second one with a fact: “he/she went on a trip, got a new job, learned how to ski, etc”. Thank you, that is enough. Please avoid telling people how much you are fighting because of your house guests and have to hide from them to fight; how you are having a crisis because you can’t get pregnant, or how little sex you have now.

– Family issues, see above. I don’t want to know a detailed list of the people in your extended family that you love, the ones that you hate and the reasons why; I also don’t want to know that one of your children is from your husband’s first marriage and you love him a little bit less than your own children.

– If a member of your family has been ill and your co-worker asks how they are, you can explain a few details like a fever and a fer symptoms or the medicine that they’re taking. Thank you, that is enough. Please don’t talk about bodily functions that are not working normally; it is never OK to show me pictures of a rash and the fact that I am eating when you show me the picture only makes things worse.

– Worse than TMI is TMC (too much closeness), please respect my personal space. Don’t sit too close, don’t leave YOUR things on my desk and please don’t tell me that you looked for a fact on my notebook when I was gone because you remembered me writing it down the day before.

– I also fear TMS (too much smell). If you are a workaholic and have decided to stop having a life to do more work everyday and you eat at your desk and avoid drinking too much water so you don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom too much. Please, pretty please if you choose to eat smelly food such as sea food or things containing curry, DO NOT use the public microwave close to my desk and eat at your desk. Smelling curry for an entire afternoon (smell that didn’t go away with air freshener) is not my idea of a fun afternoon at work.

>If you don’t know me why do you want to add me? and other Facebook conflicts

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>Facebook is really big right now, amazingly big, can’t live without big. My mom has Facebook even tough she thought that only the owner could see their own wall and the comments on pictures, she couldn’t upload pictures or do pretty much, anything there.
I always thought it was uncomfortable when some that you don’t know so much, or someone that you don’t want to give access too (a boss for example) tried to add you and you couldn’t ignore them. I didn’t want the guy that I met just once to look at all my pictures and see my posts! But you had to add them right? Just in case you ran into them again. Well yes, but now Facebook new privacy settings allow you to choose how much you’re sharing with people, this has caused a lot of conflicts in addition to the ones that were there from the beginning:
– You don’t know me, I’ve never seen you and you look creepy in your profile picture, why do you want to add me?: There is actually guys that “collect” girls in facebook that they think are pretty, if a girl falls for that she’s definitely far from being classy; there is also the person that assumes he knows everyone but maybe doesn’t remember; and there is the person that wants to feel important and have a profile saying XXXXX has 1000 friends. Good for you! everyone on the planet knows about your life and sees your pictures, kidnappers won’t have it hard finding you.
Don’t get me wrong, I know of people that have met friends or boyfriends on FB but in that case, please people send a private message aknowledging the fact that you don’t know them but want to meet them. A week ago a guy that I’m sure I don’t know, and looked really weird on his picture wanted to add me, why would I?. I don’t want to see posts about what’s his face and his plans for saturday night, or even worse, him having my pictures as a wallpaper (photoshoped with his face in it.) If you try to add me like that, you’re not making your self look better (eheem stalker ehemmm)
– How much privacy is too much: I was a victim of privacy settings, I didn’t realize that if a person couldn’t see a wall or pictures, they were seeing pretty much, well, nothing! a couple of them deleted me and other ones send me private messages asking why or knew that it was a mistake and letting me know. I have a friend that was sick of Facebook and decided to set everything as private, a lot of people will delete her for sure thinking that she blocked them.
– There is also the overly friendly person, that you don’t know much, but may or may not have one friend in addition to you, that loves to creep and comment on everything you do. do you delete that person, or just block them from writing or seeing your things?
– Parents on Facebook: So many parents are on Facebook, that their friends ask them to open an account “to share with them”, thanks people! I didn’t want to share some pictures (nothing illegal!) with my mom. Before this privacy settings, I just ignored requests from anyone older than 40, now I can just set everything on private and hope for the best.
– TMI: The best type of TMI is relationship TMI. Believe me if I don’t like drama in my own life, I don’t want to relive every moment of your tormentous, latin soap-opera like relationship with your on-and-off boyfriend. What are relationship status for on Facebook? Don’t your closest friends know if you have a boyfriend or not? And even worse I don’t want to know that you had a fight, he cheated on you, that you think all men suck and should die because someone has made you suffer again.
And there is the emo people too, come on! if you have depression, life doesn’t make sense and want to die, I don’t think Facebook is the right answer, therapy might be right for you. People won’t believe that you’re really depressed (just really desperate for attention), there was one guy who even wrote: I’m depressed, please call me. I think that instead of calls, people deleted his number from their phones- a lot of them.
Well, the privacy issue is complicated, I have a rule, I ask myself if I would say that comment in a conversation with anyone on my list, if the answer is “no”, I’d keep it to myself. It is better to be safe, maybe I did add a creepy unknown guy without noticing him, and I’ll never talk to him when I see him but he’ll know by heart all the colors I own bikinis in.