Planning for everything gives us a false sense of control, like you could predict the future by planning for it, and prevent everything bad that could happen, or prevent suffering.
Doing things because of it’s expected outcome instead of because you enjoy them, ties them inevitably to what happens next, make them worth it or not worth it, when it’s the action itself what should make sense.
Ironically, there is greater peace in knowing nothing, when you accept that you’re part of a bigger plan and life will carry you wherever you have to go, and you’ll decide things when you’re facing that decision, not a year before, not a month before.
It sounds so trivial to say: “live one day at a time”, or “the present is all you have”, when we all either live in the past, wishing to have it here again, sad because we wasted that past thinking about some other day that wasn’t the one that we were living; or live in the future, thinking that we would be happier if we had that list of things that would make our life perfect, just how we want it.
Or maybe we are just trying to plan a happier future, and making sure that we make the best decisions; choosing the right job, right people and right places, to live that perfect life.
Now it all sounds like a vicious circle, the end of that circle is just enjoying the pleasure and peace of knowing nothing, because that is our natural state, that’s how we all are, since things change in a second and our life could end tomorrow.
It may sound stupid that I want a perfect life, if I say it out loud it sounds like I don’t know what I’m talking about. But in reality, that is the reason what I suffer and the goal that I have looked for.
Why small things in life, that I can’t avoid make me feel so bad? Why do I think that I have bad luck, or that I’m doing something wrong or that it’s in some way my fault.
sometimes mistakes are so painful, that preventing them sounds like a good idea; trying to leave a foolproof life, free from mistakes, to avoid pain.
In the end by trying to do that what you get is a life of overthinking, overplanning and overcontroling. With more or less the same mistakes, but know you dwell on them more, you suffer longer and your expectations are to high. You punish yourself for being such a fool, for allowing this mistakes, when clearly you were wrong, you could have prevented them…and so the vicious circle creates itself and goes on and on.
But one day you look around, and so many people make as many mistakes as you, or maybe a couple more, but seem happier. You wonder why is that, if you’re putting so much more effort and you’re making sure that you’re constructing the perfect life that you deserve.
And then your realization will be that you’ll make mistakes no matter what. One time I heard someone say “You are not here to be perfect, you are here to live”. What changes is your attitude and the way you see things, the time you stay down, the time it takes you to shake the dust from yourself, get up and say: Now I’ve learned and I want to move on.