Category Archives: mean girls

People that are stupid and proud and cognitive dissonance

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This morning, while driving in a very bright morning, I started thinking of very productive things such as the people that have pissed me off lately, more specifically, I was wondering why some people say stupid things and I’m all “whatever, continue your stupid existence” about it, while some people really piss me off with their crap. I had an epiphany that connected a very complex psychology concept with the fact that sometimes I just get angry easily.

Cognitive dissonant people: People that make no sense and are all “in your face” about it.

 

[Cultural break]

“The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.” – About.com

[Break is over]

 

They’re stupid and proud about it, or say things that are completely illogical and flaunt it, or are in the wrong and they yell at you! They could just walk around, making use of their lonely two brain cells and live a happy life, and let me live it, but no! They decided to be all up in my face with their amazingly dumb points of view; they are living and walking cognitive dissonance. If there is an echo in your brain from lack of use, why should it affect my life too?

I’m moving to present Exhibit A and B:

 

A: The subject is an Asian male who was driving in front of me yesterday; we had stopped on the lane to turn left on a light. Without making an effort to announce his plans in any way, he proceeded to back his car onto mine for a good 10 seconds, because after being in that lane Mr. I’m the center of the Universe decided that he didn’t want to turn anymore, so he was changing lanes in a very easy breezy way.

Because he is the Center of the Universe, he didn’t care if he ended up with each half of his car on a different lane, therefore blocking my way when the light changed and I was ready to turn. When I honked the horn for him to move, what Mr. Lovely decided to do was to insult me and show me the finger. Really???!!??, so you back your car to change lanes in the middle of traffic, block me so I can’t turn around and YOU’RE angry? Maybe you should call the provincial government so they make sure that when you want to go out and drive; they make it a rule that no one else drives so you can use the streets as your personal race track in reverse.

B: The subject is a female woman from Latin America, from a very small town and a very small brain, who uses Facebook to troll, but unlike most trolls that work undercover on Reddit, she likes to show her face and troll on people’s walls.

My friend and I were commenting on a status about our national football team, when she started trolling like a troll and defending the opposite team, like getting really flustered and rude. Lady, you are supporting a foreign team instead of yours, and instead of doing it quietly you decide to flaunt it, on Facebook, on someone else’s wall, when this person is saying the opposite thing, and you insult their friends.

Are people together because of love or because they shouldn’t be alone?

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One of this days, I heard the strangest answer to this question: why are you getting married?

The answer was a mumbled list of qualities, none of them sound like a description of the love of your life to me: she takes care of me, she’s a good girl, my mom liked her…

Liking someone is like being in permanent confusion and indecisiveness, do I act like I really want to?, should I ask what am I to him or do I wait? is it psycho to wait outside of his place until he comes out? (yes it is). After listening to a girl call a radio show to make sure that his one night stand that turned into 5 dates isn’t “cheating on her”, I think, how long can two people be together without realizing that while one is using internet programs to combine their faces into a baby, the other one is googling restaurants to plan a date… with another girl(s), who knows.

It seems like the closer you are to the latin american way of dating (you’re either friends, boy/girlfriend or fiancee) the furthest you get to actual honesty in a relationship, honesty with yourself and with your partner; I think that when you don’t have a word to define what you have, you leave things open for constant negociation of terms and true commitment. OK, the serious part of this blog is over…

What am I supposed to do when a drunk man accepts that he is getting married because he has to, and that sometimes “she is crazy”, when they are disagreeing in front of me, when I’ve seen them fight in clubs, bars and people’s houses; when the girl hates me and my friend because we were close to him before (not now, because he needs to ask permission to go out. Well, I’ll guess I’ll laugh… but I’ll be nice enough to hold my laughter for a couple minutes so I can pretend  that I was laughing about something else.

And if someone can please explain how these crazy women who control everything from the guys shirt color, food, drinks and evening plans, get men. Contrary to popular belief, psycho women will find their match…the guy without self esteem and goals who will say “yes dear” to everything.

Well, if you are really bored and you are in the presence of one of these couples, and the girl has been a bitch to you, it’s fun to see how bad she reacts when you laugh at his jokes, touch his arm, or accidentally mention one of his one night stands (not that I did the last one, but I thought about it)

My haters are my motivators, and I’m not a rapper

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>I had a bunch of bad experiences with people I met last year. I was lucky to make a lot of friends, but I also made a lot of “people who I’m glad they’re out of my life”, I wouldn’t call them enemies, because I wish no harm to them and I hope they have forgotten about me too, but it’s people that make me think: How lonely can you be in a new country to make friends with complete idiots? Well, really lonely.
This experiences are described with detail in my post about THE FAMOUS 180.
Well, yesterday I was thinking about the day I asked myself: Is it me? Are they right about all their comments about me? Should I worry? And after thinking it a lot, I learned two things:
– It is not worth it to hang out with a person that does efforts to tell you that you’re wrong all the time, because they want to feel better about themselves and increase their really bad self-image.

– People that envy you or find you annoying will see the worst of you, but a little tiny part of what they say might be true.

The second one has shaped my life since that day, I started thinking what part of their mean comments was true, and I realized “I do complain a lot”, so I started working on it. Not to make the girl that was passive-aggressive with me and cried everyday because her booty call didn’t call her, and told me that if I had seld steem I would laugh it off every time someone insults me because I would know that it’s not true, I need people that are smarter than a bag of hair and have higher selfsteem than a one night stand from Jersey Shore. Just because critique can help you improve, maybe there are flaws that your friends that love you can’t see.
So when I was listening to Nicky Minaj (no judgement please, I think she is cool, even though her mouth is dirtier than a week old garbage can), I heard the quote “My haters are my motivators”, and I thought to myself: This is so true. They motivate you to improve, and to be proud of yourself, you must be doing something good if there is people that want to know your every move and bring you down.

>Mean girls throw stones at each other’s glass houses…13 years later

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>I thought that after many years of being out of high school, people had to grow old and grow up, have different priorities in their life and end up laughing about the problems that happened in high school, but it seems like that doesn’t really happen. Deep down, we are the same person, the same little girl that was insecure about speaking in public (not me of course!), or the same little boy who was teased for being different and avoiding fights.
I remember the day when I ended up crying and screaming to a so-called friend. I don’t remember what she said to me exactly, I just remember a series of events where she wanted to make me and my best friend feel like less than we were, less than her. And I remember what I told her: you say that you’re my friend, but you’re nothing but a mean girl, friends don’t make you feel bad and enjoy it. I bet she forgot about this fast, her life was filled with too much drama, she was the girl whose ex-boyfriend was now with her best friend after dating both of them at the same time, it is extremely important to mention that now, 13 years later after that happened, they are close friends.
Personally, I can’t have friends like that; I am no saint, I criticize people; but I live by a golden rule: If I want to say something about a friend, I’ll say it to her/his face, she will know that I think that the fact that she couldn’t fry an egg is funny, and that she needs to write a recipe so thoroughly that she includes the way she has to hold the knife to peel a potato. If I see a person being part of the typical movie scene, when a mean girl is with her friends and sees the outcast girl and says loudly: “I love your shirt”; just to turn around to her friends and giggle saying: “That’s the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen, she looks like a lazy transvestite”. I hate that, and I know that after you tell me that, you’ll turn around and talk about my skinny legs, or that my jeans are not from a name brand.
I got to the conclusion that mean girls are always the same, after my shy friend got engaged to one of those girls’ friends. To her face, they called her cute and innocent, and asked her how much in love she was (yes, stupidest question ever), and while to her face they talked to her like she was five years old, to her back they said she was stupid and boring.
The same girls that have a lot of skeletons in their closets, and are in glass houses with thin walls: one of them hasn’t had a boyfriend, only friends with benefits and guys with girlfriends, the other one dated 40 year old guys in high school, another one was the town gossip girl and the rest of her “friends” made fun of her weight and her inability to keep any secrets…etc, etc.
It seems like their modus operandi is picking one of them and make fun of her, this one girl has to take this quietly, she’ll have a chance to be on the other side tomorrow, when they make fun of someone new. At least they have friends that keep them company through the years, right?