Why are you still single?
I used to lock my boyfriends in a basement; one of them escaped and told others, no one wants to date me now.
Wow! You’re biological clock must be ticking now.
No, what is ticking is a bomb that’s on my purse, I’d run if I were you
Your great aunt Whatever is old and alone, never got married and she had the saddest life, be careful!
Good point! I’ll just go smoke and drink alone to make sure I don’t get to that age
Who keeps you company on a lonely afternoon?
My imaginary friend Mary, she comes over and we have tea, she’s sitting right next to you right now!
I don’t see why you’re single when you’re so pretty.
Maybe not shaving my armpits and not wearing deodorant has something to do with it.
When are you planning on getting married?
If you get me a husband for my birthday, I’ll get married that day. Please order with time to spare in order to plan a big wedding.
And then the last one, from Sex and the City:
Charlotte: You have to take risks so you don’t wind up an old maid.
Carrie: Oh! That’s right. Must not wind up old maid. How will l remember that? Does anybody have a pen?
…or at least that’s what every ad on the radio, TV and magazine says. Guess you have to break up if the guy gives you a spa certificate, or clothing or a bag (unless it’s Michael Kors of course).
Valentine’s Day is everywhere, and the advertisers are smart! They make you think that planned gifts out of obligation are “in” and you are lame if you don’t get them; apparently I’m the exception for not getting excited about someone getting me a gift because he has to. It is not because I’m single; I have never celebrated it with guys I’ve dated. Last year I said that I didn’t celebrate it and the guy surprised me with flowers, they were pretty, but I kept on hating this “holiday”.
Why do I hate it, you say? Because I love surprises and gifts that don’t say “I spent a lot of money in you because I feel like I have too because you and society pressured me”, I like gifts and actions that say “I thought of you and did this cute thing for you”. The nicest gifts I’ve gotten have been a homemade “feel better soon” card, a pencil drawn rose with lots of details. And the actions that I remember the most were calling right away when something happened and made me cry, buying me medicine and taking it to my place when I’m sick, etc. You get the point: I DON’T WANT A GIFT OUT OF OBLIGATION.
I am going to defend men in this instance: so now it is socially acceptable to say that you are with a guy for his money, but is not acceptable that a guy is with you because you have an amazing body, hmmm…would it be OK if a guy tells you that you have to exercise your abs more, or put on full make up with fake eyelashes so he keeps on dating you? No; so then why is it acceptable to say that not buying you something expensive, or exactly what you wanted is a deal breaker? And they have to buy you a gift on a made up holiday that smart marketers have sold you. Of course that there is some exceptions, like the guy that called the radio to say that he’d divorce his wife if he didn’t get a PS3 for Christmas.
I think that saying: “I broke up with him because he only gave me a rose for Valentine’s” is equivalent to saying “I broke up with her because her boobs bounce too much”.
If you only get gifts on your Birthday, Valentine’s Day and Christmas, that is a sucky relationship in my books, you are definitely getting gifts out of obligation girl.
I like holidays,I love Halloween, the holiday that everyone can celebrate or not celebrate however the hell they want.
Also, I consider myself a Christian, so I celebrate Christmas and like the idea of Christmas gifts, what I dislike is this exagerated idea that the media and marketing put out there of high expectations about a perfet life, spending tons of money, etc. I call this HOLIDAYS ON STEROIDS. I am THE GRINCH and I’ll tell you why.
- I like spontaneity and the “surprise factor” for gifts and celebrations: I find that those highly marketable holidays like Christmas and Valentine’s Day causes people to give gifts because they have to. Today on the radio they were asking if women agreed with giving their significant other a list of what they want and 4 women commented that it was the only way to get a good gift, and I find this really stupid. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is sleeping with Elaine and gives her cash (making it rain?) and Kramer remembers that she wanted a bench and got her one, THAT is a good gift, the type of gift that someone gives you after a lot of thought and that demonstrates how much they care. If you are giving someone a list, just ask for the money, easier and more honest, you’re not forcing anyone to pretend that they thought of you.
- I like to celebrate Holidays when I know what I’m celebrating: Before I “celebrate” something, I make sure that I understand the origins and causes for this celebration, this may sound basic (and sorry if I sound mean now) but apparently the atheists that are celebrating Christmas don’t think so. Although I am not currently very religious, I try to celebrate the birth of Christ in some way, and I find very, very weird that people who don’t believe in Jesus Christ at all celebrate Christmas as the birthday of Santa Claus or something. Maybe we are used to seeing this, but it would be the same as if big corporations adopted Hanukah as a marketable holiday and invented an excuse for people to buy more, and all of a sudden everyone believed this and started celebrating it without being Jewish. Exactly my point.
- Marketers are really really good in presenting the idea of Christmas as a magical time during which everyone loves you, you are happy, have a perfect family, a perfect boyfriend/husband, look like Heidi Klum , can afford an iPad 2 for all your family members (including your dog) and will get perfect gifts and a perfect dinner. This either ends up being close to the truth while your holidays mean more work than 12 hour work days while you’re covering for your boss and spending your savings (that were going to be used for your trip to a Tropical Island) in getting amazing gifts for your 50 family members in order not to “spoil” their Christmas spirit OR you won’t live up to this expectation and will go through depression.
Also on the radio, I heard that some people were considering not ending their relationships that suck because they didn’t want to be alone during “The Holidays”, this way, they could pretend to have a perfect life in front of friends and family, get a good gift from your boyfriend that cheated on you with the 5th girl (or boy) and not feel bad for spoiling his holidays with this bad news that may cause sadness and depression (because lying to someone’s face is not depressing). I guess that pretending to have a picture perfect life makes you appear full of Christmas Spirit and additionally, full of BS.