Category Archives: bullies

People that are stupid and proud and cognitive dissonance

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This morning, while driving in a very bright morning, I started thinking of very productive things such as the people that have pissed me off lately, more specifically, I was wondering why some people say stupid things and I’m all “whatever, continue your stupid existence” about it, while some people really piss me off with their crap. I had an epiphany that connected a very complex psychology concept with the fact that sometimes I just get angry easily.

Cognitive dissonant people: People that make no sense and are all “in your face” about it.

 

[Cultural break]

“The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.” – About.com

[Break is over]

 

They’re stupid and proud about it, or say things that are completely illogical and flaunt it, or are in the wrong and they yell at you! They could just walk around, making use of their lonely two brain cells and live a happy life, and let me live it, but no! They decided to be all up in my face with their amazingly dumb points of view; they are living and walking cognitive dissonance. If there is an echo in your brain from lack of use, why should it affect my life too?

I’m moving to present Exhibit A and B:

 

A: The subject is an Asian male who was driving in front of me yesterday; we had stopped on the lane to turn left on a light. Without making an effort to announce his plans in any way, he proceeded to back his car onto mine for a good 10 seconds, because after being in that lane Mr. I’m the center of the Universe decided that he didn’t want to turn anymore, so he was changing lanes in a very easy breezy way.

Because he is the Center of the Universe, he didn’t care if he ended up with each half of his car on a different lane, therefore blocking my way when the light changed and I was ready to turn. When I honked the horn for him to move, what Mr. Lovely decided to do was to insult me and show me the finger. Really???!!??, so you back your car to change lanes in the middle of traffic, block me so I can’t turn around and YOU’RE angry? Maybe you should call the provincial government so they make sure that when you want to go out and drive; they make it a rule that no one else drives so you can use the streets as your personal race track in reverse.

B: The subject is a female woman from Latin America, from a very small town and a very small brain, who uses Facebook to troll, but unlike most trolls that work undercover on Reddit, she likes to show her face and troll on people’s walls.

My friend and I were commenting on a status about our national football team, when she started trolling like a troll and defending the opposite team, like getting really flustered and rude. Lady, you are supporting a foreign team instead of yours, and instead of doing it quietly you decide to flaunt it, on Facebook, on someone else’s wall, when this person is saying the opposite thing, and you insult their friends.

Things that you please shouldn’t do on Facebook

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It seems like Facebook rules our lives these days, and that people forgot their morals and basic social rules to give in to Facebook rules; some real, some imaginary.

It is evident that Facebook brings the exhibitionist side in some people, while others just ask themselves: “why does everyone have to know my business? I am annoyed that Facebook is more important than real life now”.

  • Tell us where you are all day long: Our life goes on no matter if you are @the movies, @Starbucks, @living room or @McDonalds. Ask yourself: “why is this relevant to others?” If the answer is: “it is not”, please don’t post (Unless you are at a super cool place, like a concert, the zoo or the moon).
  • Say that you are hungry, thirsty or tired: I read this and I just think that you must have an uninteresting life if the relevant thing that happened to you today is that you’re hungry; at least if you’re tired I know that you did something. Live a little! Make some plans so you can post them on your status and stop boring people.
  • Have 400 friends: 300 of them are people that you don’t talk to, 50 that you don’t know and might be fake profiles that send viruses to everyone you know. No one knows 400 people, period. Also, when people visit your profile they can see the picture of some of your friends, if one of the pictures that you have is of Katrina, a 16 year old girl from Russia in her underwear (true story) now we know that you not only add people that you don’t know, but you may have an addiction to porn.
  • Post 1000 uninteresting pictures taken with your phone: Pictures of your feet, your food (when this is oatmeal, fried eggs or toast), pictures of your car, etc. Again, this ranks 10000 on the list of things that matter to me. You get double the douchebag points if you have your new car as your profile picture. Disclaimer: pictures of cute babies and pets are allowed.
  • Write love letters: We know that you have a boyfriend, congrats! You managed to find someone that can spend more than 3 hours a week with you! We don’t need (or want) to know that your Baby or Honey (or if you’re just a little bit more original Poochie, Coochie, Teddy Bear, Bunny, etc.) is the greatest person ever and you can’t wait to kiss him because he completes you and is the love of your life. Nor we want to know that this vacation is all you needed to reconnect, and you’re not fighting anymore (true story, this was my ex’s gf). If this is something that you wouldn’t even share on a phone call with your best friend, it is something that the rest of us most likely don’t want to see.

NEWSFLASH: Deleting someone from Facebook is not the worse offense in the world. You should know that if I have never seen you, you won’t be on my list; if I haven’t had contact with you in real life for 6 months, you won’t be on my list; if you have offended me or talked behind my back and I am not interested in talking to you in real life anymore, guess what???

 

Annoying horrible bosses: PART UNO

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This list may get long, so it’ll require more than one post, for now I’ll start by identifying these 3 types of mistreating horrible bosses:

– The George Constanza: As this beloved Seinfeld character, this person pretends to be really busy by “looking annoyed all the time”, complaining about stress and heavy workload, and sometimes yelling at people unnecessarily; so when people see her for a little bit think: “oohh, she must be so busy and her work is so hard”, when in reality her time is divided between smoke breaks, talking to other co-workers, yelling to people on the phone or her subordinates and sometines even talking about shoes and hair products. The ones that do sit next to this neurotic character now what she’s up to and only try to focus on their work and tune her out.

What to do: Train your head to nod in agreement without actually listening to what they’re saying, this is all they need.

– The bipolar: This person is really hard to read, they’re usually nice to their bosses and bipolar with their sub-ordinates. This lunatic can yell at you one day for no reason and never say sorry, she’ll just complain about being very stressed and will try to make it up to you by giving you an unusually useless Christmas gift from a Dollar Store so you’ll forget about being humiliated in public the week before.

What to do: Say thank you for the Christmas gift,. When they get aggressive, humiliate them in return; if you can’t, run to the bathroom in a fake attack of diarhea.

– The angry Alzheimer sufferer: This person forgets everything a day after and changes his mind a lot. The disturbing part is he doesn’t acknowledge it.  He’ll say that it’s the others that do things wrong or forget about things, and that the goals were not reached or documents were late because they didn’t get enough support or they were too busy. You’ll never know if they’re psychopaths that remember everything and just like to manipulate information because they like to torture people (like serial killers, but a little bit less dangerous).

What to do: Keep notes of everything, everything! Even if your notes look like this: he sat down, he asked me not to waste paper, then made me print a 200 pages report, then yelled at me for wasting a Post-it (true story)

There is always red flags: if it walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, and looks like a duck….

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First I want to clarify that I’ve lied to myself too, only to discover that there were flags that I ignored, I am not saying that I am inmune  to this.

We’ve all heard stories about guys who were perfect, and one day turn evil, perfect boyfriends and husbands that turned out to be serial killers, or pedophiles; or most commonly, they turn out to be cheaters and liars, had other wives, etc.

Well, I don’t believe those stories, I don’t believe that you could be married to Dr. Hyde and one day get My. Jekyll. I’m not referring to someone who makes one mistake; I am talking about an entire time period of pretending, lying or cheating.

To live parallel lives and hide that he had a completely different personality, morals and beliefs and cover that up flawlessly, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT, and I’ll tell you why:

ARE YOU REALLY THAT SURPRISED? REALLY?

Most of the time, after break ups and disappointments about someone, I like to reflect on the learnings for the future (how to prevent this from happening again), well, when I do that, I’ve always found red flags, in every case, every occasion. Are you really that surprised that they guy who said that he admired his sister for having 2 boyfriends without them knowing cheated on you? That the guy whose friends are all liars and party boys lied to you? That the friend that was always upset when you did good in life betrayed you? Really?

This seems logical, but sometimes we forget: we should invest our times and feelings on a person for what they are, not for what they should be or could be, or for what we want them to be. If someone is always talks about themselves and not you, leaves you waiting and cancels at the last minute, expecting consideration is really stupid. If when you told your friend that you were getting married, she started listing all your boyfriend’s flaws and faults and asked you if you were sure you wanted to that, ehem, maybe she’s not a sincere friend.

The red flags are there and we (yes, I include myself) choose to ignore them.

HOW GOOD OF AN ACTOR CAN HE/SHE BE? HOW ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE?

If there were people in real life that could have a fake personality 24/7 and find the perfect lie and excuse for every time they are somewhere else (or with someone else), getting an Oscar would mean nothing.

Come on! How many different (credible) excuses can a guy make for coming home at midnight 4 nights a week, RED BILLBOARD THERE!

And then there is the really important matter of values, a girl who always envies other people, who has betrayed all her friends, can and will not pretend permanently with you to be a super nice person that cares about others unconditionally. I am very sure that before she put Nair on your shampoo she talked sh#@$ about other girls in front of you, and you innocently thought that you were the exception….

HOW ABOUT YOUR 6TH SENSE/INTUITION/SMELL FOR SOMETHING FISHY?

How many times can you be lied to your face without you noticing anything? Not many, I believe.

How many men can cheat and hide all traces, and look at you the same way and act the same way they always did before cheating? Same answer

How many men can be serial cheaters and do the same thing to 6 girlfriends before you without you knowing? Same answer

There is always a change, something that sounds weird, dates that don’t’ match, explanations that don’t make sense, if there weren’t there would be a lot of perfect crimes in the world.

If you think that someone can turn evil overnight without being a werewolf, you are discounting all the time that you spent with them, your intuition and smarts and basically saying that they’ve got the acting stills of Al Pacino (whom I love FYI).

Mathematically, if someone is covering up for an entire personality or living a double life 24/7, there are too many mistakes that they can make for you not to catch ANY, basic probability laws.