Category Archives: Activism

Nothing says I love you like a necklace that costs more than his pay check…

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…or at least that’s what every ad on the radio, TV and magazine says. Guess you have to break up if the guy gives you a spa certificate, or clothing or a bag (unless it’s Michael Kors of course).

Valentine’s Day is everywhere, and the advertisers are smart! They make you think that planned gifts out of obligation are “in” and you are lame if you don’t get them;  apparently I’m the exception for not getting excited about someone getting me a gift because he has to. It is not because I’m single; I have never celebrated it with guys I’ve dated. Last year I said that I didn’t celebrate it and the guy surprised me with flowers, they were pretty, but I kept on hating this “holiday”.

Why do I hate it, you say? Because I love surprises and gifts that don’t say “I spent a lot of money in you because I feel like I have too because you and society pressured me”, I like gifts and actions that say “I thought of you and did this cute thing for you”. The nicest gifts I’ve gotten have been a homemade “feel better soon” card, a pencil drawn rose with lots of details. And the actions that I remember the most were calling right away when something happened and made me cry, buying me medicine and taking it to my place when I’m sick, etc. You get the point: I DON’T WANT A GIFT OUT OF OBLIGATION.

I am going to defend men in this instance: so now it is socially acceptable to say that you are with a guy for his money, but is not acceptable that a guy is with you because you have an amazing body, hmmm…would it be OK if a guy tells you that you have to exercise your abs more, or put on full make up with fake eyelashes so he keeps on dating you? No; so then why is it acceptable to say that not buying you something expensive, or exactly what you wanted is a deal breaker? And they have to buy you a gift on a made up holiday that smart marketers have sold you. Of course that there is some exceptions, like the guy that called the radio to say that he’d divorce his wife if he didn’t get a PS3 for Christmas.

I think that saying: “I broke up with him because he only gave me a rose for Valentine’s” is equivalent to saying “I broke up with her because her boobs bounce too much”.

If you only get gifts on your Birthday, Valentine’s Day and Christmas, that is a sucky relationship in my books, you are definitely getting gifts out of obligation girl.

I wish to live when the day comes on which homophobia will be as unacceptable as racism is now

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I was watching a TV show about the early 1800 in Latin America and how people believed that different races had a different value: white, then native, then black. To the point that they believed that black people had no souls and forced them into Catholicism and slavery. And then I was reminded of stories of homophobia that I’ve heard: the committed lesbian couple that was rejected because of their orientation when they tried to rent a basement apartment, the gay guy that had a stalker that followed him with a Bible trying to “save him”, etc.

For me it’s unbelievable that in 2011 people still think that it’s acceptable to attack gay people in social situations, either by making inappropriate jokes or by flatly expressing hate. I think that people who in 2011 believe that being gay is a choice are very close minded, because by basic logics one statement is true when the opposite is also true:

–          They could like the opposite sex but they choose to be gay

–          You could like the same sex but you choose to be straight

Check any logics textbook and you’ll see that this is a rule.

But to my point, I find these people close minded, but they still have a right to believe what they want as long as they respect others, I can manage to co-exist with this type of people. I wish that the homophobes would evolve to be like them and accept that what other people do is none of your business; that little children are a lot better with gay parents than no parents and sometimes even better than with straight parents; and that if you are against gay marriage, just don’t marry someone with the same junk in their pants.

What really annoys me (big time) is the people that go out of their way to hate, sometimes THEY even start the conversation about gay people in order to make a hateful comment or a bad joke. For example, the men that think that taking care of themselves or calling a guy’s cell phone is gay buy like to slap other guy’s butts. That just got me thinking about one article that I read that talked about an experiment, they tested sexual arousal on men that claimed to be straight while they were looking at gay porn, they divided the group in two: straight men that were OK or indifferent to homosexuality and straight men who were repulsed/hateful towards homosexuals. Nor surprisingly for me, the homophobes got turned on, proving the theory that you hate the things in others when you hate them in yourself. Like the bully on Glee.

Even people that believe that being gay is a sin could remember that most prophets were open to everyone and welcomed everyone in ancient times, I’m sure that they welcomed gay people too. Hate is not a quality for any religion, but acceptance is. And in the long run, if you believe that being gay is a sin, just don’t be gay then, but don’t hate, I don’t think that anyone would appreciate being followed around by people that yell your sins at you.

Infallible solution to get over someone: start seeing him as a different person (if he’s a loser, it’s even easier)

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Unless your break up was a big mistake and he is the love of your life (in this case run, go get him!), I am sure that now you have at least one good reason or a list of reasons why things didn’t work and weren’t meant to be, and shouldn’t be. Everyone deserves an initial period of sadness and grief, but after that, why don’t you use all those reasons as ammunition to get over him?, I’ll explain how. When you fall for someone, you see them in an ideal way, you see all the good in them, they’re the cutest guy in the world, you love how they make you feel, every moment is magical, etc, etc. But then, at the moment when you break up, or he breaks up you see another side, it is either an evil side that you had never noticed (he has the maturity of Snooki [or her drinking habits], the ego of Kanye West, or the ability of falling in and out of love of Kim Kardashian) or something that makes you and him incompatible (you are a vegetarian, he thinks that cows live in a spa before dying [true story], or he thinks that alcohol is evil, or maybe he’s one of those homophobes that likes to occasionally slap his male friends in the butt [true story]). Now that you think about it, this new person that he is now for you, isn’t it a lot different than the guy that you fell for? Completely different person, and he’s not your burden or problem anymore. Whatever the reason why things didn’t work is, I’m pretty sure there is a reason, and in some cases, there might even be a lot of disappointment on your side, that makes your case even easier.

OK, so to get over someone you just have to “REALIZE THAT THERE IS A GOOD AND LOGICAL REASON WHY YOU’RE NOT TOGETHER, WHAT HAPPENED IS WHAT IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED AND IT IS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU”. Work on seeing him as a different person, a person with all these flaws that you didn’t see before, or/and a person with whom you are incompatible and you wouldn’t be happy together long term.

Follow these steps:

  1. You have grieved already, so now, without any feelings that match the ones of a character from a Greek tragedy, without sleeping in fetal position or crying in the shower, just think objectively about all of those reasons. It wasn’t meant to be and the sooner it ends the better.
  2. Reflect on the things that this relationship taught you and work on improving yourself.
  3. Reflect on the things that this guy had that you never ever want to look for again in any other guy in the future, make a quick mental note to run like the wind whenever you see this.

This method works, the key is to allow yourself to have enough grieving time before you do this and then lather, rinse and repeat… and then improve your taste in men, and work hard in not being a psycho yourself.

A man that can make scrambled eggs is admirable; say the conservative-weird-feminists

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This morning I was appalled at the use of frozen scrambled eggs in Canada, they taste like plastic that stinks and I thought: “how hard is it to crack an egg, scramble it and add salt and pepper”, apparently for some cultures, the answer to this question depends on your sex.

I almost puked my plastic scrambled eggs when I heard an older lady at work congratulating a 30ish married man because he could cook eggs, they both seem really happy discussing how his wife did “everything” in the house and he could not complain, of course you can’t complain if you’re the one who’s useless; the question is, why doesn’t she complain?

Coming from a home in which my parents always divided tasks fairly between them when needed, and thaught my brother how to survive (he cooks scrambled eggs and sometimes complicated things like omelette, just kidding! He’s an amazing cook), it’s hard not to be offended by this point of view.

I understand that women cooked, cleaned and raised the children WHEN THEY DIDN’T WORK, if a woman doesn’t work or does anything with her life, it is perfectly normal (and expected I’d say) that she takes care of the house, you’ve got to do something, right? I don’t agree with women who fill their days with pottery classes, fake nails and hair appointments either.

But if you are holding a full time job, even a position of power, are you expected to go home to cook, clean and serve dinner? Well, in my case, if you are a guy that likes me, you can start running if you expect that, because when you at least hint that, I’ll run, fast, and I’ll laugh, hard.

At least many years ago we had one role to fill, now we have two??? Smart thing, this feminism that sent some women to the office and then to do all the work that our predecessors did in 8 hours, in 3 hours!

I’m sorry, I’ll cook and clean for one because there’s no one else that’ll do it for me (in Latin America, everyone has maids so this does not apply so much), when I live with someone we’ll have to negotiate according to the tasks we hate the most: “hate doing laundry? I’ll do it and you’ll wash dishes”, I refuse to leave work at night to go and wash, clean, cook and serve him a cold one while I try to look pretty, so people won’t say that I look “tired”. If you ever wondered why a wife and mother looks so tired, now you know, maybe she has a useless husband.