Things that you please shouldn’t do on Facebook

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It seems like Facebook rules our lives these days, and that people forgot their morals and basic social rules to give in to Facebook rules; some real, some imaginary.

It is evident that Facebook brings the exhibitionist side in some people, while others just ask themselves: “why does everyone have to know my business? I am annoyed that Facebook is more important than real life now”.

  • Tell us where you are all day long: Our life goes on no matter if you are @the movies, @Starbucks, @living room or @McDonalds. Ask yourself: “why is this relevant to others?” If the answer is: “it is not”, please don’t post (Unless you are at a super cool place, like a concert, the zoo or the moon).
  • Say that you are hungry, thirsty or tired: I read this and I just think that you must have an uninteresting life if the relevant thing that happened to you today is that you’re hungry; at least if you’re tired I know that you did something. Live a little! Make some plans so you can post them on your status and stop boring people.
  • Have 400 friends: 300 of them are people that you don’t talk to, 50 that you don’t know and might be fake profiles that send viruses to everyone you know. No one knows 400 people, period. Also, when people visit your profile they can see the picture of some of your friends, if one of the pictures that you have is of Katrina, a 16 year old girl from Russia in her underwear (true story) now we know that you not only add people that you don’t know, but you may have an addiction to porn.
  • Post 1000 uninteresting pictures taken with your phone: Pictures of your feet, your food (when this is oatmeal, fried eggs or toast), pictures of your car, etc. Again, this ranks 10000 on the list of things that matter to me. You get double the douchebag points if you have your new car as your profile picture. Disclaimer: pictures of cute babies and pets are allowed.
  • Write love letters: We know that you have a boyfriend, congrats! You managed to find someone that can spend more than 3 hours a week with you! We don’t need (or want) to know that your Baby or Honey (or if you’re just a little bit more original Poochie, Coochie, Teddy Bear, Bunny, etc.) is the greatest person ever and you can’t wait to kiss him because he completes you and is the love of your life. Nor we want to know that this vacation is all you needed to reconnect, and you’re not fighting anymore (true story, this was my ex’s gf). If this is something that you wouldn’t even share on a phone call with your best friend, it is something that the rest of us most likely don’t want to see.

NEWSFLASH: Deleting someone from Facebook is not the worse offense in the world. You should know that if I have never seen you, you won’t be on my list; if I haven’t had contact with you in real life for 6 months, you won’t be on my list; if you have offended me or talked behind my back and I am not interested in talking to you in real life anymore, guess what???

 

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3 responses »

  1. HaHa! I’m guilty of doing a Facebook check-in more than is necessary; however, what really annoys me are people who list out all the mundane things they’re going to do today…errands, work, more errands, shower, dinner, sleep. Ugh!

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