People that change is a bigger urban myth than the Loch Ness monster

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First, I want to make this very clear, when I say change I am talking about a complete removal of a negative attitude, behaviour or belief. I do believe that people can improve themselves and slightly modify their character. You can modify only like 5% of your character and that isn’t easy.

Everyone grows up and matures, but to actually make a change you need to follow difficult and time consuming steps:

  1. Actually knowing what is wrong with you: There is some people that no matter how obvious their problems are, no matter how many people hate them and avoid them, how many similarities they have with a fairy tale villain, how much their attitudes differ from basic moral behaviour, how many lives they have damaged…they don’t know that they got a problem. Yes, it is true, the girl that can’t finish a sentence without gossiping, the person that thinks that if it doesn’t damage them it’s OK to do it, and the boss that no one wants to sit next to at meetings, they may not know that they’re batsh@#t crazy.
  2. Accepting that aspect of you that is “wrong” as part of a whole that makes you “YOU”: You’ll never change completely. You can become another person as easily as you can change your ethnicity and height (high heels don’t count), deal with it, you’ll never be Heidi Klum.
  3. Taking small steps to adapt and modify this behaviour in order for you to be happier, or in some occasions only so you can co-exist in society without traumatizing people with behaviours such as showing cleavage as low as Jlo’s at the Grammys, or talking non-stop all day at work about your new diet and showing people your new flat abs.

These steps are not easy, and since most people are stuck on step No. 1 and may think that keeping a secret is so 1990, or that loyalty is for dogs; and because changing is SO HARD and you can only change a little, save yourself some suffering and just accept people as they are or run.

If your friend criticizes your outfit and hair every time you see her or makes you buy clothing that you can’t afford, she won’t change. If your boyfriend thinks that being faithful consists of you not catching him with someone else, he won’t change. If your friend calls you to talk about herself for half and hour and fails to ask the question: “and how are you doing?”, she won’t change.

All the conversations that can be translated as “please change for me” are a complete waste of time, you can discuss one mistake, but does it really sound logic to discuss values, ways of thinking or personalities? NOPE

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About One Day in the Life of a Sarcastic Girl (sarcasticbloggirl)

Sarcastic humour, lyrics connoisseur, music lover, comedy lover, wannabe writer, Seinfeld lover, indie pop lover, Harry Potter biggest fan I love reality TV and how you watch it without using your brain I have a hard time not telling people what I think of them all the time I was going to be a lawyer, I can argue a case, even with myself I was addicted to sugar and I had so much that I got tired of it I like rap and hip hop too much for a girl I am obsesive-compulsive about personal hygiene My philosophy in life is "Learn from every mistake"... I'm working on not dwelling on every mistake too much

2 responses »

  1. Speaking as someone who has tried desperately to change his ways, I can agree that changing who and what you are is possibly the most difficult thing anyone can do. But I think, for most people, accepting other people as they are is just as difficult, because we all want to be the master of our own little world, to control who and what are in it at all times. It’s impossible, but we keep on trying. Such is the way of things.

    Excellent post.

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