Music review by Sarcastic Girl: Songs that could have been written by a chimpanzee


I don’t like music that I could write lyrics and music for in half of the time that takes me to brush my teeth. It offends me as a writer, and it offends me as a listener.

Don’t get me wrong, I like artists that have pretty dumb lyrics, like Nicki Minaj; but they have to give me something! Give me either an amazing voice, amazing style, a rhythm that makes me want to dance all night and above all, lots of creativity. It is not only the lyrics, the music on this pop songs is interchangeable, you can use the exact same one for all the upbeat ones, and another one for the slow ones. Lately, most of the Top 40 songs make my brain cells want to commit suicide by trying to jump from my nostrils

Some examples:

–          “You are the one that I think about all day, my love is your love, your love is mine”: I hope that no one attempts to use this phrase as an attempt to be romantic with me, if they try, I don’t care if he’s the father of my children, I’ll run and I’ll never look back. Rihanna, you already had 2 songs on the radio; you didn’t need another one that will have Barney (the purple one, not the one that wears suits) filing a law suit. to Barbie soundtrack, now her lyrics are not only stupid but written by an obsessive compulsive/stalker point of view; her next hit:“I watch you while you sleep and collect dolls that look like you”

–          “Girl look at that body, I work out”: You can argue that this is a good dance song. They use that card 2 years and 10 songs ago. When you use the exact same beat and music as “Sho sho sho sho sho shots” in 2 albums and use drunken slur for songs, you have a pretty easy job. Just save your money, maybe in a year or two, people will notice that it’s the same song over and over, and over.

–          “Dirty dancing in the moonlight, take me down like I’m a domino”: You say that you don’t want to be like all the pop stars, and  that you don’t want to be like Katy Perry. Well, I consider myself a music expert and SWORE you were Katy Perry when I heard this song, not the good Katy Perry from “Ur so gay”, the one that thinks that shooting stars start in her boobs before they go to the sky. When I heard “Like a Dude” I wanted to see you live, when I heard Domino, I pictured you with a bikini made of cotton candy.


2 responses »

  1. LOL! You could have mentionened EVERY Rihanna song in this. I don’t think she can make a song without an ‘ella’, ‘eh’, ‘ooh’, ‘nana’ or some other random sound repeated 10, 000 x. Great post.. glad someone else noticed 🙂 D&A xoxo

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