Things I’ve learned from dumb men, bad dates and crying friends

Standard

“Tripping over the
same rock twice” is a Spanish saying that means making the same stupid mistake
twice, knowing that all the signs were there. Well, let’s just hope for the
best and expect that we don’t make the mistake a third time.

These “rules” that I
have learned apply to friendships, but mostly relationships:

  •  If you think that someone is dumb, immature, lacks morals, but you want to keep on
    dating them because they’re nice or good looking. Well, in the future they’ll
    be all those things but old and wrinkly.
  • If a person has a lot of “life problems”, you can only cut them some slack for a
    limited amount of time. It’s an adult’s responsibility to solve their problems
    and figure out their life, and if possible, not take forever in doing so.
  •  If someone has done something wrong to at
    least two people, they can do the same to you, and they will most probably
    will.
  • If someone
    doesn’t fight for you at the beginning, when it’s all easy and uncomplicated,
    they will for sure not fight for you years later when things are hard and
    you’re fighting to keep the spark alive.
  • If someone
    can’t tell you clearly what their intentions are with you, it’s either because
    their intentions are not good at all and they won’t tell you, or they don’t
    have any idea of what they want. Neither of those is good. “I want to be your
    friend”, “I want to get to know you first and see what happens”, “I don’t like
    you that way”, all of these area valid answers, they should be able to use
    them.
  • Sex and the City Samantha’s golden rule for relationships is very simple, but very
    useful: Are you like this J or like this L? If you are sad, depressed, anxious and lose
    sleep, is not a good relationship. You can try and work on these things if both
    of you are willing to put on an effort towards improving things, and for a
    limited amount of time.

  • “For a limited amount of time” that’s how much
    a problem should last. After this time you should either accept the problem and
    get over it, or solve it.

  • Never stay
    in a relationship for the memory of how amazing things were, or for the hope of
    how things will improve. You need to enjoy the present, that’s what you’re
    living, after all.
  • You’re no
    one’s babysitter. You can help someone figure out what they want to an extent,
    but if you feel like you’re raising someone, or giving therapy for
    psychological issues, get out!
  • The most important rule “DO NOT SETTLE”. Have fun, Maybe I shouldn’t be
    talking about this, since right now I’m lacking faith in love and I’m wondering
    how is it that I’ve worked on myself and how much I’ve worked on getting to
    know what I want and what I want to be and I’m still alone. But I still know that
    there’s someone amazing for me out there, an improved version of all my
    temporary soul mates, and I just hope I find him before 2030.
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