A couple of years ago, I’d thought that the concept of someone stuck with a feeling for many years after a relationship ended (or even when it never happened at all) was only true in romantic comedies, latin American soap operas and the occasional obsessive compulsive individual. Lately, I’ve heard (and lived) cases starring those obsessive individuals and some apparently normal individuals.
First, there is the strange case of my gay family member who has always been attracted to lost causes, one of them a girl in high school with severe self esteem issues, and an unreal and unhealthy concept of true love. Little did my family member know that a couple of years later she would be obsessed with him, sending him e-mails declaring her love and her devotion, big enough to follow him to another country, and lists of all the reasons why she was sure that he liked him too. Last week, she was at his house inquiring about his whereabouts and “why hasn’t she heard from him” and “how the cleaning lady didn’t know where he was. Now the whole family is scared of her.
Then there are cases of ex-boyfriends from years ago, who all of a sudden, a couple of years later seem to think that you are either their best friend that will listen to all their problems, sorrows, hopes, dreams and defeats in life, when you’d prefer eating out of the recycle bin than listen to their s#@$t (I didn’t break up with you to be your psychologist 5 years later). An finally, there is the friend who always loved you, without you knowing (or you knew and liked the attention, you know who you are!), as women, you could assume that a guy is fine with the occasional kiss or make out session here and there PLUS a friendship, sometimes there aren’t, sometimes they think that because you kissed them you’re their soul mate, that if they stick to your side for another 5 years you’ll know that he’s everything you wanted in a person and more.
The third kind is the most awkward of all, really awkward. When the guy is not important to you, you are thinking about ways to get out of there (the place and the situation) fast and without any harm to your pride, integrity and mood (aren’t you ambitious?) . And when you care, you just want to rewind to a moment without awkwardness, a moment when you didn’t know that he pictured you and him in 30 years and together, when you didn’t know that he may have used one of those programs to put both of your pictures together and see how your babies would look like. Sadly, you can’t turn back, and the next time you meet is even more awkward, and then you decide that talking less and less is the way to go. Other times the make it easier for you, because instead of declaring their love, they decide to pick a fight and stop talking, and say that they don’t want a talk to you because of the fight, like you’ll forget all the drunk texts and calls, the weird flirty comments, and the looks at your boobs.