It may sound stupid that I want a perfect life, if I say it out loud it sounds like I don’t know what I’m talking about. But in reality, that is the reason what I suffer and the goal that I have looked for.
Why small things in life, that I can’t avoid make me feel so bad? Why do I think that I have bad luck, or that I’m doing something wrong or that it’s in some way my fault.
sometimes mistakes are so painful, that preventing them sounds like a good idea; trying to leave a foolproof life, free from mistakes, to avoid pain.
In the end by trying to do that what you get is a life of overthinking, overplanning and overcontroling. With more or less the same mistakes, but know you dwell on them more, you suffer longer and your expectations are to high. You punish yourself for being such a fool, for allowing this mistakes, when clearly you were wrong, you could have prevented them…and so the vicious circle creates itself and goes on and on.
But one day you look around, and so many people make as many mistakes as you, or maybe a couple more, but seem happier. You wonder why is that, if you’re putting so much more effort and you’re making sure that you’re constructing the perfect life that you deserve.
And then your realization will be that you’ll make mistakes no matter what. One time I heard someone say “You are not here to be perfect, you are here to live”. What changes is your attitude and the way you see things, the time you stay down, the time it takes you to shake the dust from yourself, get up and say: Now I’ve learned and I want to move on.